What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
