dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
