Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
