Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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