I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize