Just cropdusted the office
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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