omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
