she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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