Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
