if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I think your dad took our porno
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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