I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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