Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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