I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
