38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
