turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You took a bar mat shot.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
