i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
