My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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