Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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