Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
third nipple confirmed
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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