People in love make me want to vomit
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
