In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
