I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
