the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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