If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize