Me. At least after what I've been through.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
