she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
