you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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