just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
