i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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