I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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