yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
