sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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