im six kinds of drunk right now
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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