then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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