So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize