So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
