Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize