The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
