Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
