Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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