Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
