Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
