Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
