No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize