My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
