take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
