you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
