you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
