Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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