Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize