she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize