I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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