I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
