I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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