69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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