Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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