Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
