I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
