just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
