I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
