Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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